Zach

Zach is an individual oft referred to as a cryptid. They have a talent for playing music and uncannily doing voice impersonations, usually cartoon characters. After falling into this dimension through their mother's birth canal, Zach grew up rather unimpressive. Zach is a being of godly powers, rivalling those of the heavens, so the heavens had to nerf them through giving them diabetes. Zach is a fan-favourite amongst the flex offenders, first appearing in the animated series, but being so beloved that they the joined the main flex offenders cast.

History
Zach was regurgitated out the pussy the very moment that one fuckwit aboard the Hindenburg decided to light up a cigarette, and the world has not been the same since.

In mid-2006, Zach accidentally farted so loud and wet that it shook the heavens and earth, inadvertently sinking the city of Atlantis, and creating the creature now known as Zvilpogghua. As recompense for this act, Stone-Cold Steve Austin, the one true God, cursed Zach with type 1 diabetes. This auto-immune disease successfully neutered all of Zach powers that are considered "supernatural" or "otherworldly".

Since then, Zach has lived a mostly normal life, developing a talent for never shutting the fuck up. As part of never shutting the fuck up, Zach has also gained a talent for impressions of mostly fictional characters, and decides to use that talent for literally nothing useful.

Appearance
Zach has kept their appearance consistent through most interpretations of the work, usually featuring curly hair, a hoodie and a pair of boots with spurs that go all the way up, though some artists decide to omit the boots. The thing that all depictions maintain however, is their phat ass.

Features and Traits
Zach is blessed with a massive dumper, which actually doesn't to a whole lot other than look good and take massive shits. They have the ability to play many stringed instruments, including the bass, guitar, ukulele and hearts. Zach can mimic certain voices, including Mickey Mouse, Carl Wheezer, Kermit the Frog, T̵̜̮̬͚̏̾͠ḥ̸̛͖̯́̋̔͆͆̄͑̎̚e̸̛̛̛͎͑͒̔͋͝ ̸̞̎͝F̵̨̫̞͚͚̺̤̙̦̝͍̄̃̀̕͠͠ͅõ̵̢̡͚̗̻̰̦̹̫͑͗̒̿͘͜͝r̸̮̘̘͍̗̗͈̍͂͐́̀̒͒́́̈́̌ģ̸̗͍̥̓̍̎͘͝o̴̦̳͕̭͉̱̞͌̒͂̑̒̈́͆͛̔̕͜͝ṱ̷̛̜̝͕́͆̿̌̑t̷̰̲̹͔͙̲͔̝͕̊͗̾̀͜e̶̮̱̖͕̯̿̈́́ͅņ̵̡̡̙̦̠͇̩̯͓̪͇̀̓̓́̂̈́͆̒̃̈́͝, and more.

Post-Crisis
Zach lost their ability to dance in the crisis on infinite dimensions, leaving them hopelessly awkward on any dance floor they encounter. This is the only ability that changed during the event.

Crimes

 * Vehicular manslaughter
 * Beating an animatronic pigeon to an oily pulp
 * Several counts of shitting on the walls of a Taco Bell
 * Forcing Judy Hopps to get an abortion