SombreSlime

SombreSlime is a Sussy Gamer Baka that enjoys fishing and committing hate crimes. He spends most of his time scheming away in his parent's basement, putting together the machinations to ultimately make the Canadian dairy industry crumble (as he is lactose intolerant and therefore hates all dairy). However, with most of his time being spent playing video games or looking at absolutely massive anime honkers, his plan will most likely not come to fruition for many years. SombreSlimes' "scalesona" is of a Shark wearing a pair of black Steelseries headphones, a toothed Australian hat, and a pair of black shades, in the process of gaming. SombreSlime has borrowed over $14.2 million from the Iranian Government in order to further his milk-related goals, and plans to die in a suicide bombing at the Gay Lea Foods Co-Operative Western Creamery Plant, in a blaze of glory.

When browsing his favorite subreddit, r/FatPeopleHate, and talking to his friends on discord about making a new revolutionary server, he came up with the title of Flex Offenders for the name of the server. To this day, he is a staple of the Flex offenders community, sending shitty memes and browsing waifus to add to his harem.

Quotes

 * "We must secure the existence of our people and a future for white children." - Jacob reciting the 14 words (unprompted)
 * "Sorry I'm late, I saw this groundhog on my lawn as I was about to leave, and beating it to death with a garden trowel really messed up my schedule for the rest of the day" - Jacob explaining his tardiness to the Flex Offenders at their bi-weekly meeting at Flex Offenders Tower
 * "I ran over a squirrel while taking my driving test last week because it would've been less satisfying to swerve out of the way. I made sure the instructor knew I wasn't afraid to take him down with me, so he didn't even acknowledge it after the fact. He even gave me a perfect score" - Jacob getting sidetracked while reciting his wedding vows to Charles Entertainment Cheese
 * "Shut the fuck up Dillon, my ancestors used to gas your ancestors" - Jacob, informing Dillon of the superiority of his German heritage
 * "Hey, who wants to play Terraria tonight?" - Jacob, knowing full well I don't have Terraria, and therefore can't play with him